Sleeping on the balcony

Last night I slept on the balcony. Actually, it’s probably more accurately described as a deck, or ‘decking area’.

Whatever you choose to call it, I slept on it… or attempted to.

It seemed like a sensible way of calming our dogs (they’re outside dogs) and stopping them from barking all night. After two bottles of Riesling, I’m all about sensible.

Conditions
My sleeping area consisted of two thin foam camping mats, an Ikea pillow that we care little enough about for me to use outside, and my trusty winter sleeping bag. I positioned myself at the opening of our dogs’ kennel – close to them, and far away from where they eat and do the other thing that you’re not supposed to do in the area that you eat in.

Reviewing the Elements:

Innovation
Low. Some additional points awarded for use of one’s own uncomfortable sleeping arrangements as a means of placating domestic animals.

Cost
Nil additional financial investment, after the initial cost of the wine, which I feel I would have purchased anyway. A very economical solution.

Efficacy
As a dog-calming strategy, this was highly effective. As a sleeping strategy, it was poor at best.

Level of Comfort
A raw score of 1.5, under non-alcoholic circumstances. Overall score is a Riesling-assisted 5. Comfort could have been improved dramatically through greater investment in pillow technology, or by not sleeping outside at all.

Spirituality and Mythology
Not much relevant to say here, however I am pleased to report that I did not wake up with fleas.

Historical Perspective
Humans have been sleeping uncomfortably for years. Also, drinking wine has been been portrayed in paintings and literature as far back as a long time ago, with anecdotal reports of such happenings occuring in even earlier times.

In Closing
I can certainly recommend sleeping outside if you want your noisy dogs to remain calm, and you don’t care whether you actually sleep.